Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Broken Hearts

I just read a quote that I can really relate to right now... it said "Broken hearts give us strenth and understanding and compassion." I had never thought of that before.

I've been really bad at blogging this past month. Mostly because I've been busy, and because I have been head over heels for my 'boyfriend.'

Well... technically he's not my boyfriend anymore, and my heart is broken. I think that he is still going to come with me for a week in August to visit my family, at least I really hope he will, (and I'm still excited about that,) and I believe that there is potential for us maybe dating again at a later time. Right now for us though it just isn't right. We decided we are still going to be wonderful friends, and we decided that instead of saying it's a 'break-up' that we are going to call it 'stepping back.'

Honestly no matter what you call it it still hurts. But I am at peace with it. I've gotten stronger the past few days. I've been crying some, but they've been cleansing tears. I've been praying a lot, and I've realized that Heavenly Father has something he needs me to do right now, and this 'stepping back' needed to happen in order for me to do it. I've remembered that I am a strong person who can stand on her own two feet and whose happiness is independent of other people's actions. It was a good thing for me to remember.

So yes I think it's safe to say that my heart is a bit broken right now... but I think it's given me strength and understanding and compassion that I would not have had if things hadn't happened the way they did.

For all you other's out there who know what it is to have a broken heart, I can now empathize with you. And for all you out there who like me, used to be terrified of ever having a broken heart... don't be quite so scared of it. It hurts yes, but the things you learn from it are priceless. I've come to realize that no matter what, faith and hope are choices, and it's possible to have a lot of both, even if you aren't sure in what. As long as you remember that God is in control and knows what will make you happy then a broken heart can be a blessing.

So Bennett... if you ever read this, please know I'm not upset. I don't regret one minute of time we spent together. I do regret anything I said or did that might have made you hurt at all, and I'm sorry if I did. I've been able to grow a lot, and I'll always be grateful for what you taught me. Thanks for being my friend.

1 comment:

Chess said...

I'm sorry, girlie. I definitely know how you feel. Hope your heart feels better soon.