Someone bore their testimony in sacrament meeting sunday and said this. He wasn't a member of my ward, and so I cannot remember his name. But I'm grateful he shared it. It hit me really hard.
I've realized that I'm scared of the future. I'm scared I'm going to miss something important that I'm supposed to do. I've felt so absolutely and completely right about this year. I KNEW I was supposed to come back to USU. I KNEW I was supposed to be called as the Relief Society President. I've done what I feel my Heavenly Father has asked me to do. And I've tried to give it my all. And I want to tell you something: this is the best feeling in the world. To know that I listened. I obeyed, and received incredible experiences, blessings and happiness as a result. I feel like a completely different person than I was even 8 months ago. Completely different. I feel that I am so much better at listening, recognizing and following the Spirit, and I have a lot more trust and faith in God and His plan for me. And because things seemed so clear back in August, I guess I figured that they'd be the same now. I figured he'd point me where I'm supposed to go next. But it isn't like it was then.
In a way I feel a bit lost. I don't want this year to end. I feel like I'll be taking a giant leap into the darkness. Which is ok when I feel like God tells me to leap - but when I'm just leaping because there isn't anything else to do... this is awful. And probably not making any sense. But I had to get it out.
I guess I'll just keep praying. Because I definitely need to find a bit of courage.
Monday, March 28, 2011
Fender
Sharlee's boyfriend is cool. He got me a fish. Seeing as I've managed to kill 4 goldfish this semester... he was smart and got me a sturdier specimen.
Meet Fender:
Yes, he is named after the guitar brand.
He may be an ornery and temperamental Betta, but he's very pretty, and he hasn't died yet.
Hooray for keeping fish alive!
Meet Fender:
Yes, he is named after the guitar brand.
He may be an ornery and temperamental Betta, but he's very pretty, and he hasn't died yet.
Hooray for keeping fish alive!
Monday, March 21, 2011
Cuddle Withdrawals
Confession:
A few months ago I found myself waking up every single morning in the exact same position. During the night I would scrunch up against the wall... with my entire back pressed firmly against it. I would then take my pillow and pull it up in front of me and hug it to my chest - making a nice Krystal sandwich --
The first time I woke up in this position I thought to myself: "Hmm. That's kinda weird."
The second time I woke up in this position I thought: "Wow. Two nights in a row."
A few days later when I was still waking up in the EXACT same position every morning I decided to vent to Dora about how crazy I was. Her only comment was, "Well, maybe you are having cuddle withdrawals and the only thing you got is the wall."
I think I slugged her before I told her she could shut it.
But you know what? I think that cuddle withdrawal syndrome really does exist. I am happy to report that I got over mine fairly quickly. I no longer cuddle with the wall at night. And luckily my syndrome was not so bad. For me, three weeks or so of cuddling with the wall was adequate to get me through my withdrawals.
I have started to notice some behaviors in a friend though, and I think he may have the same syndrome. Only I suspect he has it worse than I ever did. And I don't think he's discovered the wall yet... because he put his head on my shoulder and put his arm around me twice all in one night - and neither of us are what I would classify as 'touchy' kinds people. Don't get me wrong: he's a wonderful guy and we're great friends, I just never ever expected him to act that way.
Maybe I should write him a prescription for the wall. Hehe. If I didn't think that there could potentially be negative repercussions from it I totally would.
So yeah. How did you conquer your cuddle withdrawals? Hehe.
A few months ago I found myself waking up every single morning in the exact same position. During the night I would scrunch up against the wall... with my entire back pressed firmly against it. I would then take my pillow and pull it up in front of me and hug it to my chest - making a nice Krystal sandwich --
The first time I woke up in this position I thought to myself: "Hmm. That's kinda weird."
The second time I woke up in this position I thought: "Wow. Two nights in a row."
A few days later when I was still waking up in the EXACT same position every morning I decided to vent to Dora about how crazy I was. Her only comment was, "Well, maybe you are having cuddle withdrawals and the only thing you got is the wall."
I think I slugged her before I told her she could shut it.
But you know what? I think that cuddle withdrawal syndrome really does exist. I am happy to report that I got over mine fairly quickly. I no longer cuddle with the wall at night. And luckily my syndrome was not so bad. For me, three weeks or so of cuddling with the wall was adequate to get me through my withdrawals.
I have started to notice some behaviors in a friend though, and I think he may have the same syndrome. Only I suspect he has it worse than I ever did. And I don't think he's discovered the wall yet... because he put his head on my shoulder and put his arm around me twice all in one night - and neither of us are what I would classify as 'touchy' kinds people. Don't get me wrong: he's a wonderful guy and we're great friends, I just never ever expected him to act that way.
Maybe I should write him a prescription for the wall. Hehe. If I didn't think that there could potentially be negative repercussions from it I totally would.
So yeah. How did you conquer your cuddle withdrawals? Hehe.
Sunday, March 20, 2011
This is what it's all about!
Visiting teaching is pretty much the best thing ever.
One of my girls has been struggling. And I've spent a long time praying for her, and I've spent a long time worrying about her. And tonight I went to visit her, and she told me that she's had one of the hardest and one of the best weeks of her life. She shared with me some experiences that she has had, and some realizations that she's come to. She's decided to do some very hard things, and I'm so proud of her. She told me something that really touched my heart. She said that she was reading a talk by President Monson, and it reminded her of something that I had told her... she said something to this effect:
"I remember you telling me that you prayed to know if the Book of Mormon was true, and you didn't get a big answer, your answer was just small, and you said that Heavenly Father just told you that you already knew that it was true. Well, I was reading this talk and it talked about this young man who had made a commitment to never play sports on Sunday. Unfortunately his team had a game on a Sunday. He talked to his coach, and his coach told him he expected him to be there. So he went home to pray about whether or not he should play that day, and the answer to his prayer was 'why are you asking? you already know the answer.' and that just made me think of you... and I realized that I already know what's right... I just forgot a little bit for a minute."
I wanted to cry. This beautiful strong woman has had some very intense trials in the past few months, but she is coming out on top! And I did something to help... some experience that the Spirit directed me to share with her a while ago helped her in some small way, and I realized that this is what visiting teaching is all about. It's that help that you give, the love you show and the joy you experience when you see the light of the Gospel touch someones life and change it for the better, even if it's just in a very small way.
The Spirit is so cool. And I LOVE the Gospel of Jesus Christ!
One of my girls has been struggling. And I've spent a long time praying for her, and I've spent a long time worrying about her. And tonight I went to visit her, and she told me that she's had one of the hardest and one of the best weeks of her life. She shared with me some experiences that she has had, and some realizations that she's come to. She's decided to do some very hard things, and I'm so proud of her. She told me something that really touched my heart. She said that she was reading a talk by President Monson, and it reminded her of something that I had told her... she said something to this effect:
"I remember you telling me that you prayed to know if the Book of Mormon was true, and you didn't get a big answer, your answer was just small, and you said that Heavenly Father just told you that you already knew that it was true. Well, I was reading this talk and it talked about this young man who had made a commitment to never play sports on Sunday. Unfortunately his team had a game on a Sunday. He talked to his coach, and his coach told him he expected him to be there. So he went home to pray about whether or not he should play that day, and the answer to his prayer was 'why are you asking? you already know the answer.' and that just made me think of you... and I realized that I already know what's right... I just forgot a little bit for a minute."
I wanted to cry. This beautiful strong woman has had some very intense trials in the past few months, but she is coming out on top! And I did something to help... some experience that the Spirit directed me to share with her a while ago helped her in some small way, and I realized that this is what visiting teaching is all about. It's that help that you give, the love you show and the joy you experience when you see the light of the Gospel touch someones life and change it for the better, even if it's just in a very small way.
The Spirit is so cool. And I LOVE the Gospel of Jesus Christ!
Monday, March 14, 2011
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Mrs. Cook
A while ago I decided I really don't like being called Mrs. Cook in the classroom. It makes me feel so... OLD.
So I decided to do something about it. I knew I wasn't going to get all the kids to convert... but I figured my 5th graders could catch on to the difference.
So -- one of their assignments was to write me a persuasive letter. I explained very carefully the differences between Mrs, Miss, and Ms -- as well as which ones are appropriate to use when addressing me. I strongly emphasized that I was not to be called Mrs. Cook. Because I am not a Missus.
The good news: they all began to call me Ms or Miss Cook after that. And I was happy.
The bad news: It didn't last more than a week --- I'm now back to being called 'Mrs. Cook'
*sigh*
So I decided to do something about it. I knew I wasn't going to get all the kids to convert... but I figured my 5th graders could catch on to the difference.
So -- one of their assignments was to write me a persuasive letter. I explained very carefully the differences between Mrs, Miss, and Ms -- as well as which ones are appropriate to use when addressing me. I strongly emphasized that I was not to be called Mrs. Cook. Because I am not a Missus.
The good news: they all began to call me Ms or Miss Cook after that. And I was happy.
The bad news: It didn't last more than a week --- I'm now back to being called 'Mrs. Cook'
*sigh*
Monday, March 7, 2011
Silence
It's eerily quiet in my apartment.
This is largely due to the fact that my goldfish and I are the only two living beings here right now. And really, my fish isn't much for making noise.
Unless Belle shows up sometime (which is highly unlikely) we will be the only two here for an entire week...
It's kind of sad.
(Oh. And yes, I got goldfish for my birthday :) Admiral Beerbelly and Squirt kicked the bucket after only two days... I'm hoping Han Solo will last slightly longer.)
This is largely due to the fact that my goldfish and I are the only two living beings here right now. And really, my fish isn't much for making noise.
Unless Belle shows up sometime (which is highly unlikely) we will be the only two here for an entire week...
It's kind of sad.
(Oh. And yes, I got goldfish for my birthday :) Admiral Beerbelly and Squirt kicked the bucket after only two days... I'm hoping Han Solo will last slightly longer.)
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Fun Party!
Yesterday I had sort of a little birthday party with lots of fun and friends and cupcakes! We played 'Smurf' and 'Psychiatrist' and it turned out to be a very funny evening.
During Smurf a fellow was attempting to guess the verb "flirt" --- he asked me what the ramifications would be if I never ever 'smurfed' (flirted) again. I was at a loss for what to say, until my friend David jumped in and said, "I'd be really sad." Hehe
THEN. At one point we sent Dalon out of the room and all decided that we were going to answer his questions as if we were the person on our right. He came back in, and the first question he asked the person on my left was "What is wrong with you?"
I was very intrigued to hear that answer.
It was a good night full of laughs. My abs are sore today because of it. I've got such great friends!!
During Smurf a fellow was attempting to guess the verb "flirt" --- he asked me what the ramifications would be if I never ever 'smurfed' (flirted) again. I was at a loss for what to say, until my friend David jumped in and said, "I'd be really sad." Hehe
THEN. At one point we sent Dalon out of the room and all decided that we were going to answer his questions as if we were the person on our right. He came back in, and the first question he asked the person on my left was "What is wrong with you?"
I was very intrigued to hear that answer.
It was a good night full of laughs. My abs are sore today because of it. I've got such great friends!!
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
Apparently I looked 'beautiful' today...
Reading group this morning with my first grades was lovely. Usually the lessons are pretty routine, but today two of the kids were especially wiggly, which means the lesson was going slower than normal. Not a big deal though. We were in the middle of an exercise requiring them to recite letter sounds when one little girl raised her hand in the air.
As I was in the middle of telling another student that he needed to unwind his arms and actually look at the book I was holding, I took a minute before getting to her. She waited super duper patiently. Because having a student wait that patiently is so rare, I turned to her, gave her my full attention, and asked her what she wanted to say.
She pointed one finger in the air, and in a very dignified tone of voice (for a 1st grader) she said, "First, you look very beautiful today. And second..." and she proceeded with the rest of her comment.
My heart melted.
Yup. I love teaching kids.
(And sincere and unassuming compliments definitely don't hurt my ego either.)
As I was in the middle of telling another student that he needed to unwind his arms and actually look at the book I was holding, I took a minute before getting to her. She waited super duper patiently. Because having a student wait that patiently is so rare, I turned to her, gave her my full attention, and asked her what she wanted to say.
She pointed one finger in the air, and in a very dignified tone of voice (for a 1st grader) she said, "First, you look very beautiful today. And second..." and she proceeded with the rest of her comment.
My heart melted.
Yup. I love teaching kids.
(And sincere and unassuming compliments definitely don't hurt my ego either.)
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