Fit for Adventure

I just bought my first set of Chacos.

As Brian would point out, this is a momentous occasion in my life. Brian is a dear friend of mine; (he advertises chacos in his sleep.... tee hee.)

Now I'm ready for a good hike. Maybe I'll break them in here and then see how they like the mountains in China....

Believe it or not....

This afternoon I got home from work, and noticed that my fish was unusually active. As in: he was wiggling back and forth. A lot.Usually he just chills in the corner of the tank... so I stopped to watch the odd behavior, and realized:

He's wiggling in time to the music. Seriously.

So I watched. And he kept dancing. And I kept watching, and he kept wiggling.

So I turned around, picked up the remote and turned off the music player. At which point, Fender quit wiggling and went back to his corner.

That's right ladies and gents. My fish dances. He dances in time even.

Bet your fish isn't that cool ;)

Trust

I was thinking tonight. You know --- I've come to the conclusion that people in general aren't very trusting creatures. I know I'm not. And I know that a lot of people I know well aren't either. I believe that learning to trust in good things and good people is a necessary part of life. But it's such an incredibly difficult thing to do. So I was musing on the subject, and sometimes when I muse typing my thoughts helps me to begin making sense of my own head. I started to type, I reworded and rewrote and rethought --- and realized that it wasn't going well. So instead of forming my own cohesive statement, I googled the word 'trust' and found some things I liked. Here are a few quotes that go along with my thought processes this evening:

"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy."  -Walter Anderson 


"The best proof of love is trust." - Unknown


"Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life itself." -Unknown


"Our distrust is very expensive." -Ralph Waldo Emerson 


A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter:
"Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said:
"No, Dad. You hold my hand."
"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.
"There's a big difference," replied the little girl.
"If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."  -Unknown

So maybe I epically lost on this point.

What point? This is what you may be wondering. Because this must be a realization and a half if Krystal is admitting failure....

Well... it's the pretty girl theory point. And if you want to more fully understand this here post you are reading, you are welcome to check out the Pretty Girl Theory post from way back yonder when.

So. Friday I am at work. And I start a conversation with my supervisor. Eric is pretty much as close to having a big brother as I'll ever get. He's married with an adorable little girl, and loves helping students out with life situations, so I enjoy asking him questions about people and life in general --- he usually has great insights. So back to Friday: I ask him why he thinks guys in general are so afraid of marriage these days. He turns to me, pauses for a moment.... and then asks tentatively, "Can I suggest a better question for you to ask?"
"Sure. Go for it." I reply.
"Well. Krystal... the better question to ask, is 'why are men scared of marrying YOU?"

And I began to chuckle. And despite a small tingling of trepidation in my stomach, I tell him: "That IS a good question. Please enlighten me."

Want to know what he said? It went something like this....

"Well. The problem with you Krystal, is that you are really smart. And most guys, not all, but like... maybe 75% of the population, are super intimidated by that, so they won't go after you...."  and then he keeps going with a watered down version of Alan's 'Pretty Girl Theory.'

So I decided maybe there really is something to the whole gig. Doesn't mean I really like how the system works.... but what can a body do?

ENFJ

So apparently this is my personality profile. Most of it I feel is pretty accurate. If you know me well, you can probably read through and peg the things that are or are not mostly true.

If you feel like taking this test yourself, this site here will help you out :) And if you feel like reading up on the various personalities, this site is where I got my profile information from.

OH yeah. And by the way. According to this my two favorite actors: Sean Connery and Johnny Depp, are also ENFJ's. Take that.

ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this.

Because ENFJ's people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. They get under people's skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. 

ENFJ's are so externally focused that it's especially important for them to spend time alone. This can be difficult for some ENFJs, because they have the tendency to be hard on themselves when alone. Consequently, ENFJs might avoid being alone, and fill their lives with activities involving other people. ENFJs tend to define their life's direction and priorities according to other people's needs, and may not be aware of their own needs. It's natural to their personality type that they will tend to place other people's needs above their own, but they need to stay aware of their own needs so that they don't sacrifice themselves in their drive to help others.

ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner.

Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal. ENFJ is in many ways expressive and open, but is more focused on being responsive and supportive of others. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs.

The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves.

People love ENFJs. They are fun to be with, and truly understand and love people. They are typically very straight-forward and honest. Usually ENFJs exude a lot of self-confidence, and have a great amount of ability to do many different things. 

ENFJs like for things to be well-organized, and will work hard at maintaining structure and resolving ambiguity. 

ENFJs do not like dealing with impersonal reasoning. They don't understand or appreciate its merit, and will be unhappy in situations where they're forced to deal with logic and facts without any connection to a human element. 

ENFJs have a strong need for close, intimate relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort in creating and maintaining these relationships. They're very loyal and trustworthy once involved in a relationship.
ENFJs have a special gift with people, and are basically happy people when they can use that gift to help others. They get their best satisfaction from serving others. 

What thinks you? Accurate? Or no?

Opportunity Cost

Truth: it was the spirit that first taught me this principle. I was sitting in a distance ed class, listening to some lecture, when a young man that I greatly admired came up and knelt next to my chair. He asked if he could ask me a question, and then proceeded to give a 'hypothetical situation' that went something like this:

"So let's say I have this friend, and he and I grew up members of the Church of Jesus Christ all our lives. We both have been taught correct principles, but one day he decides that because he has been keeping the commandments that he is missing out on lots of experiences and opportunities that he could be having. So he decides that he is going to go have all of these 'experiences' that keeping the commandments prohibits him from having, while I choose to keep living the Gospel. So Krystal, my question is, am I missing out on experiencing those things because I am keeping the commandments?"

I'll never forget the shock I felt when this question was posed. The kid posing it was pretty much the most righteous and rock solid kid I knew. And I also don't think I'll ever forget realizing that I had no clue what the answer to his question was. But as I sat there and looked at him, my mouth opened, and out came words that definitely were not my own.

"Yes." I said quite simply. "You are missing out." And then as I noticed the shocked expression crossing his face, my mouth opened again, and out came more words that I had never heard before.

"You are missing out on all of those experiences he is having because you are keeping the commandments. You won't know what those things he is doing feel like. However, your friend is also "missing out" on some experiences that you are having. He won't know the blessings of honoring his priesthood, and of having a clean conscience. You see, in life we all have to miss out on something - the trick is deciding between what we are ok with missing out on and what we really want to experience."

Imagine my shock a year or two later when in a college business class the teacher defined a term she called 'opportunity cost,' which is of course the price of what you could have done in exchange for what you actually did.

Isn't it incredible what the spirit can teach us? I've been thinking a lot about opportunity cost lately. What am I giving up in order to be doing what I am doing now? What do I really want? What am I ok with missing out on? Are my actions actually helping me achieve my goals? I think sometimes in life we don't think enough about opportunity cost. We don't keep things in perspective. We shuffle around trying to gratify out immediate wants without stopping to think about how what we are doing now will affect our future ultimate ambitions. We set these ambiguous goals, and then sit around and hope they'll happen without making a solid plan to achieve them. Shame on us.

When I think about this in terms of building an eternal marriage and family it get's awfully confusing. How do I know that I'm really headed towards what I want most? What opportunities am I unknowingly giving up by my actions? I guess if I worry about it too much I'll just get a headache. So for now I'll just keep trying - because another glorious Gospel truth is that as long as we keep trying our best, God will not let us fail. I also believe that he won't let us miss out on what we need to learn and experience if we are giving our best effort to him.

"Your make-out chap stick is broken."

So my sister bought this chape sticke.... well actually, she bought two. And they go together. The whole idea is that one person puts on one, and the other person puts on the other, and when they kiss something crazy happens and the substances interact to make your lips go wild in a tingly sort of way.

So she told me tonight that I HAD to try it. And I told her I was fine with that... but there was no way I was going to kiss her.

Anyways. After a little brainstorming, I rubbed one type on my top lip, the other on the bottom, and rubbed my lips together.

Nothing happened.

So I washed my lips off and tried again.

I turned to her and told her her make-out chap stick was broken.

And then my lips started to tingle.

And it was really quite incredible actually....