Oh the things that get said when you work early morning....
hehehe.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
"Krystal, that does not taste like you."
-Alyssa
Oh the things that get said when you work early morning....
Oh the things that get said when you work early morning....
Saturday, May 28, 2011
The Blues Have Found Me
I sit at home, munching on a piece of cardboard pizza as I wallow in self-pity. Why is it that every time life approaches perfection it changes?
I'm not used to feeling this unwanted and obnoxious. I get to play babysitter this weekend to a bunch of teenagers who want to be independent from me and the world. Part of me wants to let them go and do whatever the crap they want and not worry about it, but they're my siblings and I promised my parents I'd keep an eye on them. You wouldn't believe how hard it can be to just get a little information out of them about what they want to do. I'm so glad I'm not a parent right now.
Also. I hate the fact that my social life has pretty much disappeared. I know that I'm the only one who can fix it, but at the moment I really don't want to expend the necessary energy to do so. It's easier to sit and wish that someone would take pity on me. I know from personal experience this doesn't happen. And so I swallow my cold pizza, and wait for the evening to end --- knowing that tomorrow will be better and maybe next week I can find the gumption to look for a group of people who want to play with me.
*Note. Jen Parks: You are wonderful. Thanks for saving me so far this summer. I'd have gone crazy already without you.
I'm not used to feeling this unwanted and obnoxious. I get to play babysitter this weekend to a bunch of teenagers who want to be independent from me and the world. Part of me wants to let them go and do whatever the crap they want and not worry about it, but they're my siblings and I promised my parents I'd keep an eye on them. You wouldn't believe how hard it can be to just get a little information out of them about what they want to do. I'm so glad I'm not a parent right now.
Also. I hate the fact that my social life has pretty much disappeared. I know that I'm the only one who can fix it, but at the moment I really don't want to expend the necessary energy to do so. It's easier to sit and wish that someone would take pity on me. I know from personal experience this doesn't happen. And so I swallow my cold pizza, and wait for the evening to end --- knowing that tomorrow will be better and maybe next week I can find the gumption to look for a group of people who want to play with me.
*Note. Jen Parks: You are wonderful. Thanks for saving me so far this summer. I'd have gone crazy already without you.
Friday, May 27, 2011
Fun Facts:
Just for fun, here's a list of things that you probably didn't care to know about me but that I am sharing with you anyways:
1. I have a young mouth --- my dentist told me that if he had to guess my age just based off of my teeth, he'd say I'm about 4 years younger than I really am.
2. When I was in 2nd grade I got two black eyes. At the same time.
3. One time my cousins and I made a 12 story long paper chain. We hung it from the top of a stairwell all the way down to the bottom floor. It was awesome.
4. I love roundabouts. Everything about them makes me happy.
5. The first time I tried driving a stick I didn't stall. Go me!
6. I am a silly song nut. I know tons of them -- if you ever need one just let me know :)
7. The only time I've ever dyed my hair was when I put a temporary streak of red in it.
8. I can't whistle, but I can tweet like a bird.
9. I've kissed a real frog. One that I caught while on a river rafting trip.
10. I ran one season of track my freshman year of high school. I was the second slowest person on the team.
11. In 7th grade I only missed one day of school: it happened to be during the awards ceremony at the end of the year -- so when my name was read for the perfect attendance award I wasn't there to get it. I was a tad more than slightly confused when the school secretary called me down to the office the next day so that she could give it to me.
12. I avoid eating cottage cheese because it reminds me forcefully of an unpleasant encounter I had with tofu.
13. I've never had stitches or been in a cast for breaking anything.
14. I can recite the first 20 lines of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales in Old English.
15. I usually win Phase 10. Don't ask why, I've just always been super lucky with that particular game.
16. I have been to Alaska twice, but I've never been to a foreign country.
17. I started reading the Lord of the Rings in 4th grade. I read all but the last half(ish) of the last one. I still have never finished it. (Even though I own the series.)
18. My Grandpa informed me 4 or 5 years ago that I was the only one of his Grandchildren who knew how to saddle my own horse --> it's it's likely that this is still true.
19. I bite my lip when I'm not sure what to say.
20. I have never slept in till noon. Ever.
21. My favorite smell in the world is that smell of laundry steam as it comes out of the vent.
22. My cousin and I together drafted an application to anyone who wants to join our family. She made her fiancée fill it out, and I fully intend to make my future fiancée do the same.
23. My hair used to be bone straight, the older I get the more wavy it gets.
24. My sneeze is usually so loud that it scares people.
25. I despise hot dogs. Pretty much I think that they are about as close as you can get to eating warm rubber.
1. I have a young mouth --- my dentist told me that if he had to guess my age just based off of my teeth, he'd say I'm about 4 years younger than I really am.
2. When I was in 2nd grade I got two black eyes. At the same time.
3. One time my cousins and I made a 12 story long paper chain. We hung it from the top of a stairwell all the way down to the bottom floor. It was awesome.
4. I love roundabouts. Everything about them makes me happy.
5. The first time I tried driving a stick I didn't stall. Go me!
6. I am a silly song nut. I know tons of them -- if you ever need one just let me know :)
7. The only time I've ever dyed my hair was when I put a temporary streak of red in it.
8. I can't whistle, but I can tweet like a bird.
9. I've kissed a real frog. One that I caught while on a river rafting trip.
10. I ran one season of track my freshman year of high school. I was the second slowest person on the team.
11. In 7th grade I only missed one day of school: it happened to be during the awards ceremony at the end of the year -- so when my name was read for the perfect attendance award I wasn't there to get it. I was a tad more than slightly confused when the school secretary called me down to the office the next day so that she could give it to me.
12. I avoid eating cottage cheese because it reminds me forcefully of an unpleasant encounter I had with tofu.
13. I've never had stitches or been in a cast for breaking anything.
14. I can recite the first 20 lines of Chaucer's Canterbury Tales in Old English.
15. I usually win Phase 10. Don't ask why, I've just always been super lucky with that particular game.
16. I have been to Alaska twice, but I've never been to a foreign country.
17. I started reading the Lord of the Rings in 4th grade. I read all but the last half(ish) of the last one. I still have never finished it. (Even though I own the series.)
18. My Grandpa informed me 4 or 5 years ago that I was the only one of his Grandchildren who knew how to saddle my own horse --> it's it's likely that this is still true.
19. I bite my lip when I'm not sure what to say.
20. I have never slept in till noon. Ever.
21. My favorite smell in the world is that smell of laundry steam as it comes out of the vent.
22. My cousin and I together drafted an application to anyone who wants to join our family. She made her fiancée fill it out, and I fully intend to make my future fiancée do the same.
23. My hair used to be bone straight, the older I get the more wavy it gets.
24. My sneeze is usually so loud that it scares people.
25. I despise hot dogs. Pretty much I think that they are about as close as you can get to eating warm rubber.
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Dear Logan,
You are one of my favorite places ever. I got to visit you earlier this week, and when I drove out of Sardine and beheld your beauty, a smile crept onto my face and would not leave. Literally. I couldn't get it to stop even when my cheeks started to hurt and I tried.
I didn't do anything supremely phenomenal while I was visiting. Well, ok, ok, hanging out with any of the Musketeers is always phenomenal -- but I was so happy doing unphenomenal things with truly phenomenal people whom I happen to love dearly. My stomach was sore for nearly two days after just because I laughed so hard and so genuinely while I was visiting you. Thanks for being such a beautiful place.
I shall be looking forward in hopeful anticipation until the next time I am able to grace you with my presence.
With all my heart,
Krystal
I didn't do anything supremely phenomenal while I was visiting. Well, ok, ok, hanging out with any of the Musketeers is always phenomenal -- but I was so happy doing unphenomenal things with truly phenomenal people whom I happen to love dearly. My stomach was sore for nearly two days after just because I laughed so hard and so genuinely while I was visiting you. Thanks for being such a beautiful place.
I shall be looking forward in hopeful anticipation until the next time I am able to grace you with my presence.
With all my heart,
Krystal
Monday, May 16, 2011
Down to Earth
A friend is a good thing. Especially those friends who keep the spirit with them.
Do you ever feel that all life's questions are rolling around inside of you, and your emotions and perspectives are starting to blur a little... not in a bad way, but just in a "I'm not quite sure what to think about life and myself in general anymore" kind of way. And then you sit down with a tender mercy from heaven. You talk for a while with an angel who helps your mind start to sort things through and who helps you to just put everything back in it's place in your head. Not because they're trying to or because you felt like you asked them to, but just because it's what naturally happens whenever you talk to them. Things get put where they should be. You may not solve the mysteries - but you find yourself again. You touch down to earth and find your eternal perspective. And you realize that because you have friends like that, because there are genuinely good people out there for you to love and admire, because God is in His heaven and there are others who know that, because of all these things, everything will work out. And life is good. So good.
I'm grateful for good friends. Especially good friends who are down to earth. You know who you are. Thanks Miss Carrie for that chat tonight. I needed it more than you know. And thanks for you others (you know who you are) who keep me going. Thanks for helping me to want to keep going and become better. I love you.
Do you ever feel that all life's questions are rolling around inside of you, and your emotions and perspectives are starting to blur a little... not in a bad way, but just in a "I'm not quite sure what to think about life and myself in general anymore" kind of way. And then you sit down with a tender mercy from heaven. You talk for a while with an angel who helps your mind start to sort things through and who helps you to just put everything back in it's place in your head. Not because they're trying to or because you felt like you asked them to, but just because it's what naturally happens whenever you talk to them. Things get put where they should be. You may not solve the mysteries - but you find yourself again. You touch down to earth and find your eternal perspective. And you realize that because you have friends like that, because there are genuinely good people out there for you to love and admire, because God is in His heaven and there are others who know that, because of all these things, everything will work out. And life is good. So good.
I'm grateful for good friends. Especially good friends who are down to earth. You know who you are. Thanks Miss Carrie for that chat tonight. I needed it more than you know. And thanks for you others (you know who you are) who keep me going. Thanks for helping me to want to keep going and become better. I love you.
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
Neat and Tidy
Ok. So I grew up in a very clean and organized household. My parents are what most would consider "clean freaks." As a result, I grew up feeling like a mess. I was constantly being told to clean my room and that I needed to be more organized.
So when I moved off to college, I will confess it was a slight surprise to be labeled as the 'clean freak.' To be constantly complimented on my organization in general was surprising too.
Now that I've moved home again, I'm having to fit everything into a much smaller amount of space than I had when I was at college. I've spent the last two days unpacking, organizing, throwing things out, putting things in a bag for DI and just organizing and cleaning in general. And I've realized: whether my parents agree or not... I am a complete clean freak. I go through everything. I find a logical spot for everything. I scrub and organize and tidy down to the very last pin, and because I try to be so completely and totally thorough, I take FOREVER to do it all. Unfortunately -- I still don't seem to see a light at the end of the tunnel to this project I've begun. I've simply too many things and too little space. Looks like I will be downsizing significantly this summer - which I think will be a very good thing.
Doesn't make it a fun process though.
For now I'm just reminding myself how good it will feel when I'm all done...
So when I moved off to college, I will confess it was a slight surprise to be labeled as the 'clean freak.' To be constantly complimented on my organization in general was surprising too.
Now that I've moved home again, I'm having to fit everything into a much smaller amount of space than I had when I was at college. I've spent the last two days unpacking, organizing, throwing things out, putting things in a bag for DI and just organizing and cleaning in general. And I've realized: whether my parents agree or not... I am a complete clean freak. I go through everything. I find a logical spot for everything. I scrub and organize and tidy down to the very last pin, and because I try to be so completely and totally thorough, I take FOREVER to do it all. Unfortunately -- I still don't seem to see a light at the end of the tunnel to this project I've begun. I've simply too many things and too little space. Looks like I will be downsizing significantly this summer - which I think will be a very good thing.
Doesn't make it a fun process though.
For now I'm just reminding myself how good it will feel when I'm all done...
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Quotes of Epicness
So as some of you may know, I have a rather large quote wall in my apartment. If you are a frequenter of my place, you may even be fortunate enough to have one of your quotes featured there. I have heard from more than one source that this quote wall of ours happens to be, hands down, the most epic quote wall that any person has ever seen. No one has ever refuted that fact. I love our quote wall. It provides many a good giggle, and functions as a fabulous conversation starter, as well as helps to keep many memories alive. Now--- because the school year is ending, the quote wall will have to be taken down. This is a tragedy in my mind. However - I would like the quote wall to live on. So here, on this very blog, shall be documented some of the epic, and not so epic moments in our apartment. Keep in mind that these come in no apparent order, and more than likely a few wonderful moments will be missing. Enjoy at your leisure, and please feel free to tell me which is your favorite.
"If you are going to do the dishes naked at least shut the blinds." -Sharlee
"He can go sit on a log for all I care... and the red ants can eat his butt." -Aly
"The personal bubble ends at the teeth." -Dora
"I'm so brilliant sometimes it hurts." -Krystal
"You can test him... like Potiphar's wife." -Belle
"Krystal is the most righteous person I know." -Dora
"Not after tonight..." -Sharlee
"I don't wanna be annoying like a pomegranate...." -Krystal
"I don't want to be soft and easy to peel..." -Dora
"I slept with that pumpkin!" -Dora
"Then it got sick and died." -Riley
"Sometimes I wonder what is compelling me to do such a horrific act of weirdness." -Dora
"...hopefully making out with a hot specimen of man-flesh." -Krystal
"Yes." -Sharlee
"Don't mind me, I'm just getting dressed in front of you." -Dora
"Whatever." -Jacob
"I'm going to say a prayer... to myself." -Dora
"Ah... religion 101: You aren't God." -Krystal
"What happened to your nose?" -Sharlee
"You hit it with your head." -Krystal
"Sharlee has too much hair, and Dora has too much face." -Dalon
"I think he should smurf in Camille's specific vicinity." -Camille
"Are you picky about lips?" -Dora
"Well I guess that depends on how they taste." -Dalon
"And that's when I realized... I'm a wuss!" -Krystal
"But I'm a single pumpkin... so it's ok." -Krystal
"I got TP stuck in my eye so I went to grab it and I accidentally pinched my eyeball! It's true!" -Sharlee
"They went to Heaven." -Jacob
"That's only if they're good." -Krystal
"Krystal has made herself the queen of awkward." -Dalon
"I live for awkwardness." -Krystal
"Who can I cheat on Dora with so that she will like me better?" -Krystal
"I can relate to that." -Riley
"Kiss me. I'm pregnant." -Paul
"Brian, I am not your future child." -Krystal
"What do you look so scared about?" -Krystal
"I dunno. I'm just trying to cry." -Jacob
"You can come hunt me down and shoot me." -Riley
"And then you can play with him." -Carrie
"I can't date him, I need someone I can be naughty with." -Krystal
"Oh I see... you just want to be naughty." -Camille
"Krystal's not mischievous, she's just naughty." -Kelden
"I wish my spit tasted that good." -Krystal
"Well ________ probably thought so." -Dora
"He needs to learn to talk better." -Krystal
"Well, we can invite him over and break him." -Sharlee
"Imagine you have nostrils at the bottom of your feet." -Yoga Video
"Krystal! I don't think you're a control freak. Let's just establish that." -Brian
"What if a boy falls in love with me and I don't want him to?" -Krystal
"Kick him and say, 'Stop it.'" -Dora
"Make something really beautiful, like my face." -Camille
"You could elope. I'm pretty sure that's a good spring break activity." -Krystal
"Maybe you are having cuddle withdrawals and the only thing you've got is the wall." -Dora
"Look. I'm delusional." -Jacob
"Pumpkins are seasonal." -Grocery Man
"What about all the other fruits and vegetables?" -Sharlee
"I just thought you were having momentary problems, that's all." -Dora
"No! I'm dancing!" -Krystal
"I'd better get dressed." -Sharlee
"I'd better blow out the candles... we don't want to send the wrong message." -Krystal
"I'll pretend that I'm a hot man for a minute." -Sharlee
"He's not fun to talk to. Only about." -Camille
"Cameron, do you think you're too good for Krystal?" -Aly
"Could you ask a more awkward question?" -Krystal
"Cameron, do you think you're too good for Carrie?" -Aly
"My lips are wussy. They aren't as strong as they used to be." -Krystal
"Krystal crawled through the wrong window and was beat to death by a walker." -Dalon
"The Stake President told us to stay away from people like you." -Krystal
"Why?" -Riley
"Because we are supposed to avoid temptation." -Krystal
"I refuse to be involved in the putting of them together." -Camille
"Tell them about the prostitutes..." -Dalon
"They were supposed to stay in the car." -Riley
"What's the point of winning if Krystal wins too?" -David
"What do you want me to say? I'm sorry that all these men are interested in you? I'm sorry!!" -Krystal
"What am I? I am the tub that holds everything together!!" -David
"I diffuse the awkwardness as I create it." -Krystal
"Have you ever licked me?" -Riley
"You mean while you were awake?" -Paul
"I think at this point in my life love is nonexistent compared to chacos." -Brian
"People get drunk before noon all the time." -Brian
"I don't want to be gotten by that!" -Krystal
"It's not because I have mercy... it's in the rulebook." -David
"Why thank you Camille, you are a test of my patience." -Brian
"Summer is like the quiver of an eyelid twitch before it twitches." -Krystal (with the aid of Carrie and Camille)
"Krystal, don't make me hold your hand." -Brian
"Becoming a True Aggie does not make you CPR certified." -Cameron
"If you are going to do the dishes naked at least shut the blinds." -Sharlee
"He can go sit on a log for all I care... and the red ants can eat his butt." -Aly
"The personal bubble ends at the teeth." -Dora
"I'm so brilliant sometimes it hurts." -Krystal
"You can test him... like Potiphar's wife." -Belle
"Krystal is the most righteous person I know." -Dora
"Not after tonight..." -Sharlee
"I don't wanna be annoying like a pomegranate...." -Krystal
"I don't want to be soft and easy to peel..." -Dora
"I slept with that pumpkin!" -Dora
"Then it got sick and died." -Riley
"Sometimes I wonder what is compelling me to do such a horrific act of weirdness." -Dora
"...hopefully making out with a hot specimen of man-flesh." -Krystal
"Yes." -Sharlee
"Don't mind me, I'm just getting dressed in front of you." -Dora
"Whatever." -Jacob
"I'm going to say a prayer... to myself." -Dora
"Ah... religion 101: You aren't God." -Krystal
"What happened to your nose?" -Sharlee
"You hit it with your head." -Krystal
"Sharlee has too much hair, and Dora has too much face." -Dalon
"I think he should smurf in Camille's specific vicinity." -Camille
"Are you picky about lips?" -Dora
"Well I guess that depends on how they taste." -Dalon
"And that's when I realized... I'm a wuss!" -Krystal
"But I'm a single pumpkin... so it's ok." -Krystal
"I got TP stuck in my eye so I went to grab it and I accidentally pinched my eyeball! It's true!" -Sharlee
"They went to Heaven." -Jacob
"That's only if they're good." -Krystal
"Krystal has made herself the queen of awkward." -Dalon
"I live for awkwardness." -Krystal
"Who can I cheat on Dora with so that she will like me better?" -Krystal
"I can relate to that." -Riley
"Kiss me. I'm pregnant." -Paul
"Brian, I am not your future child." -Krystal
"What do you look so scared about?" -Krystal
"I dunno. I'm just trying to cry." -Jacob
"You can come hunt me down and shoot me." -Riley
"And then you can play with him." -Carrie
"I can't date him, I need someone I can be naughty with." -Krystal
"Oh I see... you just want to be naughty." -Camille
"Krystal's not mischievous, she's just naughty." -Kelden
"I wish my spit tasted that good." -Krystal
"Well ________ probably thought so." -Dora
"He needs to learn to talk better." -Krystal
"Well, we can invite him over and break him." -Sharlee
"Imagine you have nostrils at the bottom of your feet." -Yoga Video
"Krystal! I don't think you're a control freak. Let's just establish that." -Brian
"What if a boy falls in love with me and I don't want him to?" -Krystal
"Kick him and say, 'Stop it.'" -Dora
"Make something really beautiful, like my face." -Camille
"You could elope. I'm pretty sure that's a good spring break activity." -Krystal
"Maybe you are having cuddle withdrawals and the only thing you've got is the wall." -Dora
"Look. I'm delusional." -Jacob
"Pumpkins are seasonal." -Grocery Man
"What about all the other fruits and vegetables?" -Sharlee
"I just thought you were having momentary problems, that's all." -Dora
"No! I'm dancing!" -Krystal
"I'd better get dressed." -Sharlee
"I'd better blow out the candles... we don't want to send the wrong message." -Krystal
"I'll pretend that I'm a hot man for a minute." -Sharlee
"He's not fun to talk to. Only about." -Camille
"Cameron, do you think you're too good for Krystal?" -Aly
"Could you ask a more awkward question?" -Krystal
"Cameron, do you think you're too good for Carrie?" -Aly
"My lips are wussy. They aren't as strong as they used to be." -Krystal
"Krystal crawled through the wrong window and was beat to death by a walker." -Dalon
"The Stake President told us to stay away from people like you." -Krystal
"Why?" -Riley
"Because we are supposed to avoid temptation." -Krystal
"I refuse to be involved in the putting of them together." -Camille
"Tell them about the prostitutes..." -Dalon
"They were supposed to stay in the car." -Riley
"What's the point of winning if Krystal wins too?" -David
"What do you want me to say? I'm sorry that all these men are interested in you? I'm sorry!!" -Krystal
"What am I? I am the tub that holds everything together!!" -David
"I diffuse the awkwardness as I create it." -Krystal
"Have you ever licked me?" -Riley
"You mean while you were awake?" -Paul
"I think at this point in my life love is nonexistent compared to chacos." -Brian
"People get drunk before noon all the time." -Brian
"I don't want to be gotten by that!" -Krystal
"It's not because I have mercy... it's in the rulebook." -David
"Why thank you Camille, you are a test of my patience." -Brian
"Summer is like the quiver of an eyelid twitch before it twitches." -Krystal (with the aid of Carrie and Camille)
"Krystal, don't make me hold your hand." -Brian
"Becoming a True Aggie does not make you CPR certified." -Cameron
Sunday, May 1, 2011
God is Good
Back in August I was called to be the Relief Society President over a most incredible group of women. I didn't see or understand why Heavenly Father would ask me to do such a thing. For a week or two I'm pretty sure I just looked like a deer in the headlights. I couldn't comprehend how I was ever going to accomplish anything good or help anyone.
And someone told me that I would love my calling. This sweet girl informed me that I would cry when I was released. And I half believed her. I figured I'd cry after it was all over. But not the day of, in front of all my girls as I attempted to bear my testimony. But I did. I've cried a lot today. But they were tears of joy. Tears of gratitude at the incredible experiences that I've had this year. I've given the Lord my all. And he has richly blessed my life.
As I've come to know these sisters, I've seen an incredible amount of goodness and virtue. They have taught me so much more than I could ever hope to ever teach them. And as heavy as this mantle felt at times, I don't regret a single instance of it. I am so sincerely grateful that God trusted me enough to call me to his service. I am going to miss these girls so much.
The Lord is good. I am sincerely grateful to be able to see his hand in my life. There are so many times when I look around me and marvel at the events that have brought me to where I am. I know that he has a plan for me. I know he wants me to be happy. And I know that if I just trust him he will put me where I need to be. Not only where I need to be in order to build up his kingdom and help others find happiness, but also where I need to be to be the most happy and grow the most myself. Nothing is as constant as change, this is true. But change is so good.
About a week ago I started to feel afraid. Afraid that after this year and how intensely I've been involved with the ward that I will feel useless in my future assignments. Afraid that I won't be able to find where I am supposed to be. I thought this fear would grow as summer came closer. But right now it isn't there anymore. I've realized that those who desire to serve will always find opportunities to build the kingdom. If I just listen and have a genuine desire to be on the Lord's errand, he will have a place to send me.
This post is a very poor token of the depth of my many emotions today. But I want you to know that I have faith in God. I trust him. And I hope that one day I will be worthy of his trust in me.
And someone told me that I would love my calling. This sweet girl informed me that I would cry when I was released. And I half believed her. I figured I'd cry after it was all over. But not the day of, in front of all my girls as I attempted to bear my testimony. But I did. I've cried a lot today. But they were tears of joy. Tears of gratitude at the incredible experiences that I've had this year. I've given the Lord my all. And he has richly blessed my life.
As I've come to know these sisters, I've seen an incredible amount of goodness and virtue. They have taught me so much more than I could ever hope to ever teach them. And as heavy as this mantle felt at times, I don't regret a single instance of it. I am so sincerely grateful that God trusted me enough to call me to his service. I am going to miss these girls so much.
The Lord is good. I am sincerely grateful to be able to see his hand in my life. There are so many times when I look around me and marvel at the events that have brought me to where I am. I know that he has a plan for me. I know he wants me to be happy. And I know that if I just trust him he will put me where I need to be. Not only where I need to be in order to build up his kingdom and help others find happiness, but also where I need to be to be the most happy and grow the most myself. Nothing is as constant as change, this is true. But change is so good.
About a week ago I started to feel afraid. Afraid that after this year and how intensely I've been involved with the ward that I will feel useless in my future assignments. Afraid that I won't be able to find where I am supposed to be. I thought this fear would grow as summer came closer. But right now it isn't there anymore. I've realized that those who desire to serve will always find opportunities to build the kingdom. If I just listen and have a genuine desire to be on the Lord's errand, he will have a place to send me.
This post is a very poor token of the depth of my many emotions today. But I want you to know that I have faith in God. I trust him. And I hope that one day I will be worthy of his trust in me.
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