Someone bore their testimony in sacrament meeting sunday and said this. He wasn't a member of my ward, and so I cannot remember his name. But I'm grateful he shared it. It hit me really hard.
I've realized that I'm scared of the future. I'm scared I'm going to miss something important that I'm supposed to do. I've felt so absolutely and completely right about this year. I KNEW I was supposed to come back to USU. I KNEW I was supposed to be called as the Relief Society President. I've done what I feel my Heavenly Father has asked me to do. And I've tried to give it my all. And I want to tell you something: this is the best feeling in the world. To know that I listened. I obeyed, and received incredible experiences, blessings and happiness as a result. I feel like a completely different person than I was even 8 months ago. Completely different. I feel that I am so much better at listening, recognizing and following the Spirit, and I have a lot more trust and faith in God and His plan for me. And because things seemed so clear back in August, I guess I figured that they'd be the same now. I figured he'd point me where I'm supposed to go next. But it isn't like it was then.
In a way I feel a bit lost. I don't want this year to end. I feel like I'll be taking a giant leap into the darkness. Which is ok when I feel like God tells me to leap - but when I'm just leaping because there isn't anything else to do... this is awful. And probably not making any sense. But I had to get it out.
I guess I'll just keep praying. Because I definitely need to find a bit of courage.
1 comment:
That is exactly what I'm going through too! I love that thought: Courage is fear that prays. So inspiring! Thanks dearest. :)
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