Saturday I found myself about to blow a fuse. Trapped inside my own brain, and about ready to go insane.... Luckily a friend rescued me, and let me talk it out at the park. Then I came home and ran - it was one of those times when you just need to move, and the burn and shortness of breath feels so good because it's a release and a distraction. Let's just say I was excited and nervous and overwhelmed.
I fell asleep that night, and woke without an alarm around 5:30 the next morning. I lay in bed for about a half an hour before getting up to get dressed... On especially anticipated mornings I usually wake up obscenely early without an alarm - an odd quirk of mine I guess.
I arrived at the chapel early, and then watched in awe as it began to fill with people I love. Some had come from far away, and who had made considerable effort to come. The meeting began, and I teared up as I realized that at least half of the congregation was there for me. Just because they love and care about me.
My talk went fairly well I think - I didn't break down in tears, and I think I managed to say what it is that I wanted to. I bore my testimony, and then spent the next few hours hugging people I love.
Can I just say that I love hugs? Due to this fact, Sunday was one of the best days ever. I got some great hugs. It was difficult to hug some people and realize I won't get to again for a very long time, but that's the nature of the game I guess.
A few of my friends who had come all the way from Logan for my farewell came to my house afterwards. Riley expressed his condolences that he hadn't made it to go dancing with me all summer - and then Dalon pointed out that there was a perfectly good kitchen floor present. So I danced in the kitchen with those two boys, both of whom I adore from the depths of my heart. Never dared to dream I'd find a man that would danced with me in the kitchen... who'd have thunk I'd find two on the very Sunday I say goodbye to the world to leave as a missionary? Haha. My life is so awesomely ironic sometimes.
Sunday night rolled around. I'd had a great time with my family, a good chance to play my oboe in a rehearsal, and was all around feeling superb. I was exhausted, but had enjoyed my day so thoroughly that I didn't want it to go to bed, cause that means it'd be over...
I wonder if this is kind of how my mission will be. I'll begin with nervous excitement. Then I'll run around like crazy- working hard and having many poignant moments. Moments where I feel pure joy, but also moments of sadness - and it'll all pass by in a whirlwind, and when I get to the end I won't want to be done, cause I know that it won't come again. I'll want to wake up the next morning and live it all over again....
I kind of hope that's how it goes anyways :)
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