Perfect Fit

I moved home to Mapleton today, and while I am thrilled to be home.... in a way I'm not.

I don't want to say I've outgrown home, because I haven't.... it's just that 'my spot' isn't entirely here anymore. I miss Logan already. I guess it's ironic really, as soon as I start to think of Logan as 'home' I move back to my other home.

Tonight I was feeling kind of lost and overwhelmed. I have so much to do: unpack, organize my things, figure out which things go in storage and what I have to make room for in my closet, find a job, start working a job, figure out when/if/how I am going to visit my Dad and other family this summer, figure out where I'm going to church on sunday, figure out what my parents are going to want me to do this summer... and the list goes on. I was getting out of my car tonight after picking up my sister, and I looked up at the stars and told Heavenly Father that I didn't fit. In that moment he gave me a very tender mercy. He told me that he created those stars for me, he loves me, and that I fit in his love, so it doesn't matter where I go or who I am with. If ever I need to feel Father's love I like to look at the stars, I don't think it's possible to look at them and not feel part of his love for me. I fit perfectly in my Heavenly Father's love, and that is more important than feeling like I'm in the 'right' physical location.

Now I don't want to make it sound like I'm not excited to be home, I really am. I love my family and I'm so excited to spend time with my Mom this summer that I can hardly stand it. I have lots of plans for myself: I want to get invovled with family history, go hiking, swimming, biking, and play some other sports. I want to climb trees and rocks and jump on the trampoline. I want to find a few good jobs and try to make some money so that I afford my own rent next year. I want to play with some friends from BYU and visit dear friends who are still in Mapleton. Maybe if I get really lucky I'll get to go on at least one date.... tee hee.