Dear Men Letters (Yes I'm breaking down and writing my own)

Dear Cuddling Requirer,
I don't know what I was thinking when I handed over my number to you. Please don't call, I'd rather not try to come up with an excuse to avoid you.
Sincerely,
I'm not a floosy

Dear Confused,
I was re-reading journal entries the other night and remembering once upon a time when you made me crazy happy. I keep hearing stories about you, but I'm finally over you and have no desire for a relapse... so as harsh as this sounds, please don't ask me out. I'll always care about you though. Don't forget that.
Sincerely,
A piece of my heart will always be yours

Dear Adorkable Blonde,
We should hang out more. I feel comfortable around you. Plus you're a flirt and heaven knows I need more practice in that area.
Sincerely,
Thanks for making me smile

Dear Quietly Handsome,
I feel creeper when I'm around you because it's been a very long time since I've crushed on someone this hard. Your good looks and fantastic conversational skills don't help my condition.
Sincerely,
Please ask me out already

Dear Prince Charming,
What's keeping you?
Sincerely,
I'm trying to be patient

I've been hunting for a job next year...

So far nothing has been fruitful... I've had two screening interviews and one job interview.

I believe that Heavenly Father knows where I need to be and will guide me there.... but is it bad that I'm kinda starting to consider moving to Taiwan if I don't get offered a job in Utah soon?

Leave the Scar

Does the thought of who you used to be ever cause you to feel sheepish? Sometimes when I think about a way I acted or how I handled something badly I thank heaven that I'm not the person I used to be. But then this invariably leads to a wandering wondering about what I'll think of my present self 5 years from now. Will look back and think about what a fool I was?

I was listening to pandora tonight, when a song called "Heal the Wound" began to play --- and it really resonated with me. We all have imperfect pasts. We've all learned from them, and need not be ashamed of where we've been as long as we're heading in the right direction. It's those times that we screw up that force us to learn, and we become more beautiful because of it. The scars of our past are what force us to grow.

The song says it much more eloquently than I can... so I'll share the lyrics here:

Heal the Wound

By Point of Grace

I used to wish that I could rewrite history

I used to dream that each mistake could be erased

Then I could just pretend

I never knew the me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away

Hide all the evidence of who I’ve been

But it’s the memory of the place You brought me from

That keeps me on my knees and even though I’m free

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken, torn apart, take the pieces of this heart

And heal the would but leave the scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything

I don’t take pride in what I bring

But I’ll build an alter with the rubble that You’ve found me in

And every stone will sing of what You can redeem

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken, torn apart, take the pieces of this heart

And heal the would but leave the scar

Don’t let me forget

Everything You’ve done for me

Don’t let me forget

The beauty in the suffering

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken, torn apart, take the pieces of this heart

And heal the would but leave the scar

Isn't it Ironic?

Like when I spend a week trying to convince 1/2 the people I know in happy valley to come play with me... and only 2 show up.

Or when I ask Heavenly Father if I can get asked on a date please (yes I actually did that... laugh all you want) and he sends my ex-boyfriends roommate to ask for my number. (Oh, and when said roommate asked for it he informed me that they'd just be dates for fun, but he would be expecting cuddling every now and again.... go ahead, keep laughing at me...)

How about when that thing I've been waiting for most of my life starts to look like a bit of a possibility about a month after I decide I don't want it anymore.

"Who would have thought... it figures."

This 2nd Grader Makes Me Smile

"Do you have any kids?" -Student
"Nope." -Me
"Oh. But you really want a kid?" -Student
"Well I'm not married yet. So not right now." -Me
"Oh. I am really sorry.... but you are looking for someone to get married to right?" -Student
"Yup I am. Do you think I'll ever find someone to marry me?" -Me
"Yes I am sure you will." -Student

*Emphasis was put in as was spoken.

Talk about random and weirdly adorable?

During recess today I was sitting at a table writing notes when one of my students walked up next to me. He patted me gently on the head and stated: "You're a good teacher."

Then he walked back across the classroom and continued playing.

I'll confess... I was too surprised to even laugh.

Why I Blog

Sometimes I go through and re-read old posts I've written. Usually just the funny ones so that I can remember fun experiences I've be blessed to have. Last night though I went through and read some that are kind of ambiguous. Ones from a specific time in my life. It amazes me that just reading those few paragraphs I wrote can bring back such vivid feelings and memories of what I was doing and how I felt. And reading those things put what my life is like now into a better perspective than I had before. I didn't necessarily liked what I discovered... but I'm grateful for it.

Sometimes I wonder why I bother to post things here for the world. Or why I bother to write in my journal every single night. But it's so worth it -- because I discover things about myself as I'm scribbling or typing. Some people write to feel connected, and that's definitely part of the appeal here --- but mostly I write so that I can discover myself. And so that I can remember.

Why do you write? And if you don't... why not?

Gentlemen, No Thanks Necessary...

I've developed a number of mild interests in various young gentlemen since my return home from Asia. And without fail, each time I develop an interest, it follows the exact same pattern. Observe:

Krystal thinks in her mind one day: "Hm. He seems nice. And he's rather attractive. Yes. I think I am very muchly quite attracted to this fellow..." And then follows a stream of ideas about how she might be able to get to know said young man better.

One-Two weeks later Krystal is talking to someone when voila! She finds out that young man from her thoughts in the previous paragraph is in the beginning stages of a budding relationship with someone else.

This has happened over and over. EVERY time. It's kinda like a warped super power. Or a curse. Or both perhaps.

Just think how many more dates I'd get if the young men in my area knew of this gift I posses...

The Statue of What?

This is a conversation I overheard two of my 3rd graders having today, I about lost it in a fit of giggles...

"I froze as the statue of puberty!" -Student 1
"What's puberty anyways?" -Student 2
"It's when you lose your hair." -Student 1

hehehehe

Faith

Where God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window. He has such good things in store for us...

So why is it so hard to trust and be happy no matter what life throws at us? Food for thought.

Hi my name is Krystal.

-I graduated from college almost a year ago.
-I have a big grown up job.
-I used to live in China.


When you say those things like that it makes me sound so.... old.

Just so ya'll know: I'm only barely 22.

I just felt the need to reaffirm that....

The Holy Ghost prompted me to wear tennis shoes to work today

and I am sooooo glad I listened.

Before 11 am I had already chased a run away student (which was going to happen again later in the day), met an extremely... interesting (hem hem) parent, and administered a shot (see yesterdays post...)

And that was only the beginning to my crazy day. The day to beat all days.

Luckily my day ended with Hotpots and Zumba - I was a heathen and skipped institute. But at least I'm not going to bed in tears.

My Ruined Life-Long Goal

I've always found the workings of the human body to be fascinating.  However there are few reasons that I chose not to go into the medical field despite my fascination.  Perhaps you will understand if I tell you that I have never been able to watch myself get poked by a needle. I tried to watch a video of a surgery in college.... I nearly passed out. I have made it my secret goal to go my entire life without ever having to give anyone a shot. Ever. (Not even my future children.)

Hence I went into education. I figured that field was nice and safe and far away from needles and scalpels.

So how blasted ironic is it that my very first job after graduating in education is requiring me to administer insulin shots?

I am not happy about this. This is, in fact, ruining my secret lifelong goal.

Luckily I didn't get woozy when I had to watch today....

Xanadu

Monday night Tay and Kenzie took me to see this musical. I had absolutely no idea what it was about until we showed up.

To sum up: The plot was terrible. Character development paltry, and the music all very similar. Nevertheless -- I found it hilarious. The actors did a superb job with the comedic side of things, and thus kept me entertained the whole time.  I particularly enjoyed the barbie horse on a pole --- the bedazzled power tools, and the 80's jokes.

So. If you ever have a desire to check out this work, I would advise you to not watch the movie --- I can't see how it would be any good... and it is the film that killed Olivia Newton John's career. However, the play would be worth seeing just once --- mostly for the glitter and the explanation behind the revelation that if Achiles had been wearing leg-warmers then he would never have been defeated.

22

So yesterday was my birthday. And I was spoiled. My Mom came and brought me lunch at work, my kids all behaved and sang me songs, and by the end of the day my desk was covered with flowers and balloons and cards. Which made me feel so happy :) The only downside was the trip taking the balloons and flowers out to the car, where the wind was trying to carry me and my belongings away - and as I fought that wind and I'm sure I presented a graceful image to the world as I whipped around trying to keep the balloons from tangling around me and the flowers as I spit hair out of my mouth.

After work my Grandparents took my Mom and I to dinner at PF Changs. The food was good - but I must confess that I didn't enjoy the rice -- I'm too much of a rice snob now... haha.

Later Taylor came over and we watched Captain America. Can I just say that he is awesome? He's probably my favorite Marvel hero, just in case you were dying to know that.

So yes. Now I'm 22 years young. Which seems to amaze everyone at work. Go me I guess :)