Fit for Adventure

I just bought my first set of Chacos.

As Brian would point out, this is a momentous occasion in my life. Brian is a dear friend of mine; (he advertises chacos in his sleep.... tee hee.)

Now I'm ready for a good hike. Maybe I'll break them in here and then see how they like the mountains in China....

Believe it or not....

This afternoon I got home from work, and noticed that my fish was unusually active. As in: he was wiggling back and forth. A lot.Usually he just chills in the corner of the tank... so I stopped to watch the odd behavior, and realized:

He's wiggling in time to the music. Seriously.

So I watched. And he kept dancing. And I kept watching, and he kept wiggling.

So I turned around, picked up the remote and turned off the music player. At which point, Fender quit wiggling and went back to his corner.

That's right ladies and gents. My fish dances. He dances in time even.

Bet your fish isn't that cool ;)

Trust

I was thinking tonight. You know --- I've come to the conclusion that people in general aren't very trusting creatures. I know I'm not. And I know that a lot of people I know well aren't either. I believe that learning to trust in good things and good people is a necessary part of life. But it's such an incredibly difficult thing to do. So I was musing on the subject, and sometimes when I muse typing my thoughts helps me to begin making sense of my own head. I started to type, I reworded and rewrote and rethought --- and realized that it wasn't going well. So instead of forming my own cohesive statement, I googled the word 'trust' and found some things I liked. Here are a few quotes that go along with my thought processes this evening:

"We're never so vulnerable than when we trust someone - but paradoxically, if we cannot trust, neither can we find love or joy."  -Walter Anderson 


"The best proof of love is trust." - Unknown


"Without trust, words become the hollow sound of a wooden gong. With trust, words become life itself." -Unknown


"Our distrust is very expensive." -Ralph Waldo Emerson 


A little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter:
"Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river." The little girl said:
"No, Dad. You hold my hand."
"What's the difference?" Asked the puzzled father.
"There's a big difference," replied the little girl.
"If I hold your hand and something happens to me, chances are that I may let your hand go. But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens, you will never let my hand go."  -Unknown

So maybe I epically lost on this point.

What point? This is what you may be wondering. Because this must be a realization and a half if Krystal is admitting failure....

Well... it's the pretty girl theory point. And if you want to more fully understand this here post you are reading, you are welcome to check out the Pretty Girl Theory post from way back yonder when.

So. Friday I am at work. And I start a conversation with my supervisor. Eric is pretty much as close to having a big brother as I'll ever get. He's married with an adorable little girl, and loves helping students out with life situations, so I enjoy asking him questions about people and life in general --- he usually has great insights. So back to Friday: I ask him why he thinks guys in general are so afraid of marriage these days. He turns to me, pauses for a moment.... and then asks tentatively, "Can I suggest a better question for you to ask?"
"Sure. Go for it." I reply.
"Well. Krystal... the better question to ask, is 'why are men scared of marrying YOU?"

And I began to chuckle. And despite a small tingling of trepidation in my stomach, I tell him: "That IS a good question. Please enlighten me."

Want to know what he said? It went something like this....

"Well. The problem with you Krystal, is that you are really smart. And most guys, not all, but like... maybe 75% of the population, are super intimidated by that, so they won't go after you...."  and then he keeps going with a watered down version of Alan's 'Pretty Girl Theory.'

So I decided maybe there really is something to the whole gig. Doesn't mean I really like how the system works.... but what can a body do?

ENFJ

So apparently this is my personality profile. Most of it I feel is pretty accurate. If you know me well, you can probably read through and peg the things that are or are not mostly true.

If you feel like taking this test yourself, this site here will help you out :) And if you feel like reading up on the various personalities, this site is where I got my profile information from.

OH yeah. And by the way. According to this my two favorite actors: Sean Connery and Johnny Depp, are also ENFJ's. Take that.

ENFJs are people-focused individuals. They live in the world of people possibilities. More so than any other type, they have excellent people skills. They understand and care about people, and have a special talent for bringing out the best in others. They are focused on understanding, supporting, and encouraging others. They make things happen for people, and get their best personal satisfaction from this.

Because ENFJ's people skills are so extraordinary, they have the ability to make people do exactly what they want them to do. They get under people's skins and get the reactions that they are seeking. 

ENFJ's are so externally focused that it's especially important for them to spend time alone. This can be difficult for some ENFJs, because they have the tendency to be hard on themselves when alone. Consequently, ENFJs might avoid being alone, and fill their lives with activities involving other people. ENFJs tend to define their life's direction and priorities according to other people's needs, and may not be aware of their own needs. It's natural to their personality type that they will tend to place other people's needs above their own, but they need to stay aware of their own needs so that they don't sacrifice themselves in their drive to help others.

ENFJ's tend to be more reserved about exposing themselves than other extraverted types. Although they may have strongly-felt beliefs, they're likely to refrain from expressing them if doing so would interfere with bringing out the best in others. Because their strongest interest lies in being a catalyst of change in other people, they're likely to interact with others on their own level, in a chameleon-like manner.

Which is not to say that the ENFJ does not have opinions. ENFJs have definite values and opinions which they're able to express clearly and succinctly. These beliefs will be expressed as long as they're not too personal. ENFJ is in many ways expressive and open, but is more focused on being responsive and supportive of others. When faced with a conflict between a strongly-held value and serving another person's need, they are highly likely to value the other person's needs.

The ENFJ may feel quite lonely even when surrounded by people. This feeling of aloneness may be exacerbated by the tendency to not reveal their true selves.

People love ENFJs. They are fun to be with, and truly understand and love people. They are typically very straight-forward and honest. Usually ENFJs exude a lot of self-confidence, and have a great amount of ability to do many different things. 

ENFJs like for things to be well-organized, and will work hard at maintaining structure and resolving ambiguity. 

ENFJs do not like dealing with impersonal reasoning. They don't understand or appreciate its merit, and will be unhappy in situations where they're forced to deal with logic and facts without any connection to a human element. 

ENFJs have a strong need for close, intimate relationships, and will put forth a lot of effort in creating and maintaining these relationships. They're very loyal and trustworthy once involved in a relationship.
ENFJs have a special gift with people, and are basically happy people when they can use that gift to help others. They get their best satisfaction from serving others. 

What thinks you? Accurate? Or no?

Opportunity Cost

Truth: it was the spirit that first taught me this principle. I was sitting in a distance ed class, listening to some lecture, when a young man that I greatly admired came up and knelt next to my chair. He asked if he could ask me a question, and then proceeded to give a 'hypothetical situation' that went something like this:

"So let's say I have this friend, and he and I grew up members of the Church of Jesus Christ all our lives. We both have been taught correct principles, but one day he decides that because he has been keeping the commandments that he is missing out on lots of experiences and opportunities that he could be having. So he decides that he is going to go have all of these 'experiences' that keeping the commandments prohibits him from having, while I choose to keep living the Gospel. So Krystal, my question is, am I missing out on experiencing those things because I am keeping the commandments?"

I'll never forget the shock I felt when this question was posed. The kid posing it was pretty much the most righteous and rock solid kid I knew. And I also don't think I'll ever forget realizing that I had no clue what the answer to his question was. But as I sat there and looked at him, my mouth opened, and out came words that definitely were not my own.

"Yes." I said quite simply. "You are missing out." And then as I noticed the shocked expression crossing his face, my mouth opened again, and out came more words that I had never heard before.

"You are missing out on all of those experiences he is having because you are keeping the commandments. You won't know what those things he is doing feel like. However, your friend is also "missing out" on some experiences that you are having. He won't know the blessings of honoring his priesthood, and of having a clean conscience. You see, in life we all have to miss out on something - the trick is deciding between what we are ok with missing out on and what we really want to experience."

Imagine my shock a year or two later when in a college business class the teacher defined a term she called 'opportunity cost,' which is of course the price of what you could have done in exchange for what you actually did.

Isn't it incredible what the spirit can teach us? I've been thinking a lot about opportunity cost lately. What am I giving up in order to be doing what I am doing now? What do I really want? What am I ok with missing out on? Are my actions actually helping me achieve my goals? I think sometimes in life we don't think enough about opportunity cost. We don't keep things in perspective. We shuffle around trying to gratify out immediate wants without stopping to think about how what we are doing now will affect our future ultimate ambitions. We set these ambiguous goals, and then sit around and hope they'll happen without making a solid plan to achieve them. Shame on us.

When I think about this in terms of building an eternal marriage and family it get's awfully confusing. How do I know that I'm really headed towards what I want most? What opportunities am I unknowingly giving up by my actions? I guess if I worry about it too much I'll just get a headache. So for now I'll just keep trying - because another glorious Gospel truth is that as long as we keep trying our best, God will not let us fail. I also believe that he won't let us miss out on what we need to learn and experience if we are giving our best effort to him.

"Your make-out chap stick is broken."

So my sister bought this chape sticke.... well actually, she bought two. And they go together. The whole idea is that one person puts on one, and the other person puts on the other, and when they kiss something crazy happens and the substances interact to make your lips go wild in a tingly sort of way.

So she told me tonight that I HAD to try it. And I told her I was fine with that... but there was no way I was going to kiss her.

Anyways. After a little brainstorming, I rubbed one type on my top lip, the other on the bottom, and rubbed my lips together.

Nothing happened.

So I washed my lips off and tried again.

I turned to her and told her her make-out chap stick was broken.

And then my lips started to tingle.

And it was really quite incredible actually....

Gentelmen

Let me tell you about work this morning. For those of you who may be unaware: I wake up at the unearthly hour of 3:30 in the a.m. in order to be at work at the BYU fieldhouse at 4. I clean a certain area, as well as anything else that may need attention. Despite the lack of sleep caused by the time I have to be at work, I love my job. I love the people I get to work with. I love the fact that I don't have to look nice. I love that I can take off work whenever I want. I love that I never work weekends or holidays. I even take a sick sort of satisfaction from scrubbing something until it shines.

Anyways. This morning I was attempting to unroll a large mat. Now, I can unroll those wretchedly heavy mats all by my lonesome, but it's difficult to get them straight. They are a lot larger than I am. I think people sometimes feel pity for me as they watch me wrestle with them, because occasionally I get offers of help from passer-by. I usually turn these offers down, maybe this is prideful stubborness on my part... but it isn't their job to help me, and if I really am struggling I do have coworkers I can call upon. But anywho. I was moving a mat into position this morning when a handsome stranger walked up to me. He stated simply in a very kind voice, "I'll help you with that." It wasn't a request or an offer - it was a statement of how things were to be. His tone of voice was not one to be argued with. I was taken off guard by the matter-of-fact tone he used, and before I knew it, he was instructing me to pull on one end while he manuvered the other. When I looked at him with a grateful, "thank you." He replied with a "No problem. See you later!" and off he went. Just like that. And I thought to myself what a nice fellow he must be.

Not 20 minutes later I ran out of vacuum cord in the same hallway. I turned around to go to retrieve the plug and noticed an elderly gentleman bending over, holding the vacuum plug as he looked at me with an inquisitive smile. He asked if he could unplug it for me, and observed that it looked as if I had run out of cord. Once again I was not offered help, I was just given it. Usually vacuuming is one of the dullest projects of my morning, but his jovial smile brightened things considerably.

And I was supremely grateful that no matter where one goes there are undoubtably lovely people everywhere just waiting to be met. Also. I love it when I meet a man who exudes the arua of a true gentleman.

Ok. So BYU may have a few redeeming qualities. I did just admit that.


USU is still better.

Sister Johnson

Tonight I had the opportunity to with my dear friend Sharlee to watch her be set apart as a missionary for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints. She will be serving in Cambodia. I am so excited for her it is slightly ridiculous.
Sunday when I went to her farewell I had a lot of people ask me if I knew her very well at all. I would chuckle and say "we were best friends in third grade." But really, that doesn't even begin to cover it. Sharlee has always been there for me - she is such a bright spot in my life and I feel so grateful to have known her and seen her genuine goodness. She loves everyone around her, and her patience is neverending. I can testify to this because she's put up with me for years and years. From being my first real elementary school friend, to my locker partner in highschool, and then eventually my roommate in college, she has always brightened my day when I have been graced with one of her smiles. She's taught me a lot about chairty and selflessness and hard work.
I shed a few tears tonight when I had to say goodbye to her. I am such a proud roommate. I wept during her talk on Sunday when she spoke of a very special moment I was able to share with her last semester at school. I feel like a basket case, but those tears are a testament to how much I love her - I don't cry over just anybody.
When she first started the mission paper process I thought we'd be going through it together. Right now the Lord has different plans for me, and for a while I was slightly jealous of her. But I can honestly say that since the moment I watched her open her mission call I haven't felt jealous. I've only felt excitement and love for her. She is on the Lord's errand, and she let's nothing stand in her way. One day I'm going to be like her.

But anyways. Dear Sharlee, or Sister Johnson (since that's what you'll be for the next 18 months) I love you. I can't wait to see you in a year and a half, and I want you to know how much I adore you. Thanks for being there for me. You don't know how much you've blessed my life.

Those Cambodian people sure are lucky that she'll be there with them for the next year and a half. Good luck Sister Johnson!

Thoughts from the Trail

Antelope Island here we come!

Perfect day! Yay! Not so many bugs this time.

Sego Lillies! Wow!

Steph and I are going to be pro at practicing this romance thing. Horseback riding throw the meadows of wildflowers.... hehehe.

I am SO glad I don't have to use the restroom right now. No wonder women stayed home more when this was the primary mode of transportation. I don't blame them one bit.

Well Chelle, you're horse has a hard time keeping up because he's the fat slow one ;)

Silly horse. Quit trying to cuddle with me. You're far too big for that.

Golly Grandpa, this is a lot of food --- typical. Haha.

Freak child. You have a lopsided canter. Either that or you're just trying to throw me off...

You walk until I say otherwise: you eat. You canter and toss me around: you starve.

Oh my goodness! That buffalo is freaking close... woah. woah. woah. If you throw me off I swear... I can just see tomorrow's headline: Girl gored by buffalo. What a painfully fantastical way to die. Wonder who would actually show up to my funeral?

Real prancing ponies are not very comfortable to ride no matter how innocent the title sounds...

I am so glad that Grandpa brought me, Stephanie and Michelle to do this.

Starting to understand how it was possible for cowboys to fall asleep in the saddle... so tired...

I love riding downhill... it makes me feel so... wait. Slow down. Holy crap. WoAh! I think my respect level for that dude in Man from Snowy River just increased about 10 times.

Is it really a good thing Grandpa trusts me with the most difficult horse?

I think this grass is taller than I am.

I'll take the cold wind over those blasted mosquitos any day!

Wow, that salt breeze really clears up those sinuses.

Ten miles! I feel pretty legit.

Holy Crap. Note to self... leave stirrups slightly longer next time --- I don't think I've ever been this saddle sore!

Just because I know it's good for me doesn't mean I want to do it

AKA: things may be too easy for you, and the chicken counting is stopping.

Because really. I think about things too much. Because sometimes when you are shoving a vacuum around in the wee hours of the morning, you have lots of time to think. And sometimes the thinking is productive. And sometimes it's just confusing and you come up with way more questions than you have answers. Actually, that second thing happens a LOT to me.

But then sometimes you talk to someone and they say something, and because you have figured out one of the questions, all of a sudden you see things more clearly. And then you feel happy because you know that your thinking session tomorrow morning will probably, and very hopefully, be much more productive and fulfilling. Or at least more interesting.

Also. Sometimes I wonder about chickens. Not real chickens silly goose. But yes. I wonder about chickens. And then sometimes when I come up with a good question, then the chicken wondering becomes appealing in an extremely different sort of way, because my pride steps in and takes over. Hostilly. (Yes I just made that word up.)

So yes. Hostile pride is halting the chickeney musings. I am less inclined than I was before. However.... this could potentially mean I will get a swift kick in the pants from a Heavenly source soon. Maybe. Either that or I just got smarter.

We'll see.

Institutionalized

Thursday I went with Dora on a mini road trip to Montana. Nevermind why. Suffice it to say that we spent a LONG time in the car. And whenever one spends excessively long periods of time in a moving vehicle, bathroom breaks become necessary. So we stopped at a gas station in the Idaho Falls area, and she and I happily skipped inside (we were very grateful to be out of the car) in order to use the restroom.

As we walked in and followed the signs directing us to the ladies room, a man wearing casual business attire (he was probably in his late 40's) stopped me with a question. This was because he had noticed my shirt. I was wearing a USU Institute t-shirt. On the front the shirt says 'Institute' in bold lettering, the back features the Aggie A and the words 'a priority.'  Noticing me and the front of my shirt, he halted my progress towards the bathroom with the question, "Wait, you belong to an Institute?" Thinking that he might be LDS and was just appreciating the fact that he could easily recognize my religious affiliations by my getup, I proudly answered him with a resounding, "Yup! I go to Institute."  He looked back at me with a concerned expression on his face and said, "Hm. That's usually not something people advertise on their shirts." I shrugged and proceeded on my way.

While I was washing my hands and thinking about this incident, it occurred to me that the kindly-intentioned gentleman was not referring to the same kind of Institute that I was thinking of. So I turned to Dora and mentioned that the man had probably thought I belong to a psych ward. She and I chuckled over it as we exited the restroom, and as we approached the exit, the same gentleman stopped me again.

You know those times when you can just look at someone's face, and you know what they are wanting to say, even though they aren't saying it very well? Well --- this was one of those times. Because this guy looked at me with this queer expression, and I just knew that he was dying, yes, simply dying, to know what I had done that would cause me to be sent to the loony bin, and what on earth was I doing in a gas station in the middle of Idaho. He  asked me in a controlled sort of voice what kind of Institute I belonged to, and when I explained, "It's an institute for religion...." he looked at me with a dubious glance and said sarcastically, "I've never heard it called that before."

And it was all I could do not to bust up laughing as I explained that it was a USU t-shirt. I am an Aggie, and that the institute there really is for religion. He then proceeded to quietly explain to himself, "Oh. You're one of those Utah people...."

And I just laughed. Because he is in Idaho Falls, Idaho. Which, while it may not be Utah, is definitely not that far from USU, Mormons, Aggies, or other such similar things.

So yes. I had a random stranger try to ask me why I'd been institutionalized. Haha.
 Best gas station experience ever. Hands down :)

He Used the Word 'Date'

I received a phone call early this afternoon, in which a handsome young man asked me if I would go on a date with him. And he actually used the word date. And I was surprised and impressed by his frank non-ambiguousness. Because really, I don't even remember the last time a boy called me and said that he would like to take me on a "date." I've been called and asked if I'd like to go with a young man to a dinner or activity or something, and I knew it was a date... but I don't remember the last time a gentleman used this particular word when asking me.

Why is it that for some reason that particular word is frightening? Sometimes I feel everyone slinks around and avoids the use of the term until after the date is over. (Am I the only one who feels like this happens?) I guess it's kinda scary sometimes to put yourself out there in order to ask someone on a date, but still. It is sooo nice to know what is going on. It was completely refreshing today to know that whatever upcoming activity he has planned will be classified as a date - and I don't have to wonder about it beforehand.

I was proud of him. And impressed. And if he ever reads any of these silly musings of mine he should know that I say kudos to him.

Now I just have to decide what to wear :)

Camille tells me stories to cheer me up.

"once,

there was a beautiful girl named Krystal

and there was a handsome prince named ping. and he was from china. and he wasn't dumb like most boys are

and Krystal went to China, and there was a chipmunk there named Larry

And Larry said "Krystal, guess what? normally when i'm around, it means you have to do a lot of waiting or fighting or whatever so you can receive they key to the heart of the one you treasure

But Ping is so madly in love with you, that he already did all the work for you, so you don't have to do it. Because he loves you lots and lots

And so, Krystal was so happy. and she met ping, and he was everything she hoped for and more. and he was good at chasing girls

and he asked girls on dates

and he was really funny

and teased Krystal a lot

and they lived happily ever after.

the end"

I like that girl. And her stories too :)

Silver Linings

1. I have the funds to pay for the car repairs needed.
2. The deer didn't kill me.
3. I think the deer was ok.
4. I got to go to institute with Jen this evening.
5. My Dad knows how to replace side view mirrors.
6. I have a full time job.
7. I like my full time job.
8. I get to go to the temple tomorrow afternoon.
9. I got an almost 4 hour nap this afternoon.
10. I got to talk to two of my favorite boys last night.
11. My thyroid test came back and said my thyroid is healthy.
12. One month from today my St. George and Bear Lake adventuring will begin.
13. Camille sent me funny quotes this afternoon.
14. I got to jump on the trampoline.
15. Jen knows how to cheer me up.
16. I'm getting better at being patient.
17. I get to have a brand new windshield.
19. There are people in the world who will just listen when I vent. They don't fix it, they just listen.
20. Jen and I have a play date to watch Mulan and go running.
21. Heavenly Father loves me.