Did you know that he knows everyone? And he knows everything about everyone. And he helps everyone? And he arranges situations so that some people can help other people, so that everyone is taking care of everyone else. And HE doesn't ever let anyone slip through the cracks. When someone is lonely or tired or stressed, or when they just broke up with their boyfriend, or they just bombed a quiz, or when they are having roommate problems, or they don't know what to choose as a major, or they're trying to decide if they should get married, or they're worried about how they are going to pay for next month's rent: he knows. And he cares. And he'll listen to them if they feel like pouring out their problems to him. He'll give them good advice. He'll send an angel to help them out. He'll share his love. And he will NEVER forsake, forget, or neglect them.
So sometimes it boggles my mind, that a being so powerful, so infinitely wise, and so wonderful would ask ME to help him. He asked me to help watch over 44 girls specifically. He asked me to help them build their testimonies. He asked me to make sure that they can feel his love. He asked me to give them opportunities to serve and to care about one another. And I, I can barely deal with my own life. I am a very small person. I don't have a loud voice. I'm not wise. I'm 20 years old, and I can't keep track of everything. And yet... I care about these girls so much because God shared with me his love for them. I notice when they come to sacrament meeting and then skip out on relief society, and it makes me sad that they aren't there. I notice when they look sad during a lesson, or when they sit alone at church. I love to listen when they will tell me about their problems. I pray for them at night. I've fasted for them, and asked them to help take care of each other. I've tried so hard to listen to the Spirit, I've read the handbook, and sat through countless councils, I've pondered ways to help them feel God's love... And still I know I fall short.
I know that God won't let me fail because most days I'm honestly doing the best I know how, but I wish that I could do so much more. I wish that I could somehow have a heart-to-heart with each of my 44 girls every day. Especially the ones I don't know as well. I wish that I could give each of them perfect advice, and listen to all of their worries, and I wish that I could cheer them on as they make good decisions. I wish I could help those who are struggling to see that the Gospel of Jesus Christ is the only way to be truly happy. I wish I could give them the courage they need to live their lives the way God wants them to. Mostly, I wish I could somehow help all of them understand just how valuable they are in God's eyes.
But I'm just me. Little tiny Krystal, with small ideas, her own bucket of concerns, and a heart that cares. So for now, before I go to sleep, I guess I'll just pour out my concerns to God, because he's up all night anyways. And he knows how to take much better care of my girls than I do.
I'm glad I'm on his side.
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